Most Stupid Inventions:
Can You Think of More Useless Inventions than These?

What makes the inventions below earn the title of most stupid inventions?

Well, they are either completely useless inventions or they are useful for something, but really make you go “WHAT???”

You would think that the number one reason for inventing something, anything, would be to improve the way things are being done now, find a creative solution to a problem or address a need.

Well, not according to the inventors who came up with these gems.

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Stupid Inventions #1 - Cooling device for hot beverages

This scary contraption helps you cool your hot beverage. In the words of the patent application itself:

“The pace of modern life is so hectic, that people have little time to even consume cups of coffee.”

True. You cannot argue with that.

stupid inventions:
Cooling device for hot beverages

The inventor then explains that when your beverage is too hot you traditionally either set it aside to cool or stir it. Both options are apparently, less than perfect.

“no matter which one of the conventional ways people use, it takes a lot of time to cool the hot beverage” and that, he concludes is “irritating, inconvenient and unsatisfactory for the modern person”.

If you are really stressed right now at the prospect of having to drink a hot cup of tea, please don’t be. This invention is here to help.

I will not go exactly into how it works, but just say that it has a base, a heat conducting bar and an electric fan. Together they save you from waiting a minute or two for your hot beverage to cool and make it drinkable quicker.

How exactly do you know when your drink is cold enough, and not too cold? You don’t.

You just plunge this baby into your cup of coffee and pray.

If there ever was a case of over inventing to deal with a problem that doesn’t really exist – I would say this is it.

Patent # US7231964

The novice inventor’s brief:

Identified need: Sometimes, waiting for your coffee to cool is just too much.

Need met? Yep. You now have a cold cup of coffee. And you had to carry around a beverage cooling device, and you can’t monitor how cold your coffee is so you might have to get a new cup… I could go on and on…

Lessons Learned: Be careful when defining a need or identifying a problem. Sometimes, what you perceive as a problem isn’t really one. And, please, always ask yourself – Who would use this??

Stupid Inventions #2 - Chopsticks for people who can’t use chopsticks

Are you embarrassed that you can’t use chopsticks? Are you too self conscience to ask for a fork? This invention will save your day.

It’s a fork… it’s a spoon… no wait it’s chopsticks. Confused? Don’t be.

In the words of the patent application:

“An eating utensil which, when used, resembles chopsticks, but which does not require the skilled manipulation of chopsticks.”

stupid inventions:
Chopsticks to people who can’t use chopsticks

It’s chopsticks that at their end you can fit a fork head, or a spoon, or any other Western-style utensil.

You can screw on any utensil you want, according to your meal requirements.

Next time you are in an Asian restaurant, everyone is using chopsticks and you don’t want to appear awkward asking for a metal fork, all you need to do is pull out your chopsticks that are actually a fork and dig in.

From those far away tables no one could ever tell you are using a fork!

And imagine if you put a spoon head on top of your chopsticks… They might marvel at how clever you are to eat liquid soup with chopsticks, while they have to resort to a spoon.

Ingenious.

US patent #4809435

The novice inventor’s brief:

Identified need: Asian restaurant aficionados that struggle to use chopsticks and are embarrassed about it.

Need met? ahm… not sure. I personally would be more embarrassed to be seen using this contraction in public than asking for a proper fork…

Lessons learned: Make sure that your invention really solves a problem and doesn’t make it worse or create a new one

Stupid Inventions #3 : Apparatus for simulating a "high five"

stupid inventions:
“High five” simulator

You know the feeling, you are alone in your living room, drinking a beer, watching the latest basketball game on TV and then your favorite player shoots an amazing three pointer that changes the game.

You stand up, you shout, you hoot, you raise your hand to ‘’high five” someone, but no one is there.

Ah ha! Thank god you bought that high five simulating apparatus, the one you affectionately call ‘Victor’.

You will never have to wonder why you don’t have any friends to watch games with again.

Patent US5356330

The novice inventor’s brief:

Identified need: lonely sports fan, with no friends, all excited and nowhere to go?

In the words of the patent application itself:

“a solitary fan is unable to perform a “high five” to express excitement during a televised sporting event”

Need met? Not really.

The real need here is to have friends to watch sports events with, not the incredible urge to high five someone with excitement.

Lessons learned: When you come up with a creative way to solve a problem or address a need, make sure you understand the real need and identify the deeper problem.

Stupid inventions #4: Pants separable at the crotch for style mixing

This has the potential to be a wonderful invention. For clowns.

stupid inventions:
pants for style mixing

If you are having trouble choosing what to wear in the morning, this will help. No need to decide between two pairs of pants. You can wear them both, simultaneously.

This useless invention brings you “a pair of pants that is easily separable at the crotch into right and left leg portions.

Each leg portion is selected from a set of various styles to flexibly create a custom mixed or matched style for a given wearing of the pants. “

Definitely a good thing that the inventor went ahead and patented it.

You can see how the moment it will hit the shops every designer in the world would try and copy it.

Patent 6161223

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